I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
