Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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