Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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