called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
