Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
