worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
