I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize