Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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