Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
