it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize