I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize