He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize