My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize