God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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