Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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