You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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