I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize