I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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