So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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