I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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