Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize