Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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