Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he thought i was a dude.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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