At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
