I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
