She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
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