Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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