White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize