woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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