He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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