is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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