no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
