I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
