apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
