New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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