living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
