the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
