Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood