fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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