We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
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The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
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I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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