the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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