Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
