He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
