U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
