The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
