IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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