return my video game
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
