I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
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She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
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The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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