You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
