Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
