So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
