I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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