Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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