Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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