U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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