so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
