btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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