Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
