Duck Duck Cougar?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
