I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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