I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
