I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize