He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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