She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i think my mom watched the whole time
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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